East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
