We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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