??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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