some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
