I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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