I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
