I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize