Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
