and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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