Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
