So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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