im gay
i know
yea but for you.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
