I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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