It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
