he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
