I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
