I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
