i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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