Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You need Xanax blowdarts
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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