You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
