I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize