butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize