i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ladies don't puke and tell
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
