Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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