I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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