i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
