1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this boner is exhausting
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
