The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
