JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this will be a night to untag.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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