eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
