1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
