Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
