mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
now i know why i became what i already was.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
