I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
