Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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