Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
