I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
