Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
