the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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