Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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