Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
