my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
