One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
