all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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