Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
