so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
