So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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