No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
