Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
