I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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