I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
