Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
