There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
