Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
