you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
