I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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