Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
