I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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