The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
