He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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