Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
