I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
